As I have to move from a huge house in the burbs to a two bedroom apartment one third the size, I had to come to terms with getting rid of everything but the essentials it feels like. I had a friend over tonight and she took away a truck load of my belonging - our belongings. Things that seemed important when we bought them, but now they just seem like trash. My vision is so tainted by his attitude toward the whole mess that I just felt sick when the truck pulled away from the curb.
I am having to deconstruct my whole life. Not one detail is being left untouched. The emotions I have felt the last three weeks, and still feel at this point, are overwhelming. When is it going to stop? The saddest part is that he is so solemn and seemingly unaffected by the whole thing. The lack of emotion is so painful. It makes me wonder when he last cared for me, if he can let me go through such pain and turmoil now. I will never understand how my husband of almost 14 years can do this to me and feel that it is justified. One month ago I was a happily married wife and now I am anything but that.
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